Trading Places Dan Aykroyd

15. Trading Places (Dan Aykroyd)

Dan Aykroyd's interpretation of Santa only appears for a few minutes in the entire movie, but still finds time to plant drugs on a respected businessman, freak out some women on a bus, get pissed on, and attempt suicide. A performance as brief as it is devastatingly accurate.

A Christmas Story Jeff Gillen

14. A Christmas Story (Jeff Gillen)

Santa in A Christmas Story spends his screentime being concerned for a child's wellbeing, which is super lame. Luckily, he then kicks the kid down a chute designed specifically, apparently, for that very purpose. That's awesome.

A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas Patton Oswalt

13. A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas (Patton Oswalt)

Oswalt's Mall Santa doesn't have any supernatural abilities per se, but he does have a bunch of weed in his car, and will sell it to you. Which is much cooler than a real Santa.

Jingle All The Way Jim Belushi

12. Jingle All The Way (Jim Belushi)

A running theme in these results so far is the exclusion of any actor who's actually playing Santa Claus, with the elves and the magic and everything, and not just some dummy dressing up like him. Another thing they all have had in common is the brevity of their appearances in these movies, meaning the act of writing about their 3-minute contributions is a tremendously easy and enjoyable one. So, thanks for that. Anyway, this particular Mall Santa cruelly tricks Arnold Schwarzenegger, which admittedly is hilarious for anyone to do, let alone someone in a silly outfit.

The Year Without a Santa Clause Mickey Rooney

11. The Year Without a Santa Clause (Mickey Rooney)

Show me someone who says there's something sadder than a claymation Santa Clause undergoing an identity crisis and I'll show you a liar. Mickey Rooney's Santa decides to take a break since people don't believe in him any more, which is not the best way to resolve that problem at all.