The Apocalypse

15. The Apocalypse

The literal destruction of all life and reality as we know it comes in at a paltry 15, which seems a little low, especially considering "talking to girls" is not featured at any point on this list. The bright side is that people who still say "it's not the end of the world" finally have a few new cliches to reach for. The brighter side is that, should the apocalypse come, people who still say "it's not the end of the world" will be wiped out forever.

Getting Pushed onto the Subway Tracks

14. Getting Pushed onto the Subway Tracks

At any point during the day, roughly one hundred percent of people who ride the subway are insane and dangerous. While you wait for your train and catch up on the latest This American Life, there's a real danger some wild-eyed commuter is going to throw you from the platform because the scorpions living in his brain thought it would be cool. Not only are your chances of survival slim, but that's like, a super humiliating way to die.


13. Spiders

It doesn't even matter that spiders are pretty conspicuous and ridiculously easy to kill, they just look creepy. It feels sometimes like they're in on the joke, and just like to jump out at the funniest possible moment. And then sink their venomous fangs into you because, watch out, that's sometimes a thing also.


12. Gangrene

As if getting cut/slashed/de-limbed isn't bad enough, you run the risk of gangrene every time, which is a necrosis (death) of body tissue (literally everything you're made of). Not only is it a fast-spreading and hard-to-treat disease that can kill you within hours, but it's really really super gross.


11. Tsunamis

The number 11 spot here is taken by tsunamis, somewhat surprisingly the number 1 scariest natural disaster. It's understandable, though. Where fire can be beaten with blankets or foam or just blowing on it, a giant wall of water doesn't really have a weakness. You just run, and that's scary, because running sucks.