Shiba Inu

15. Shiba Inu

Ever wondered what would happen if a fox and a teddy bear got it on? Probably something like a Shiba Inu and a resulting marriage built around the Shiba Inu that slowly devolves into a loveless prison because foxes and teddy bears are just too different. One might worry about the mental toll growing up in a broken home can take, but this is a dog who walks around all day showing its butt to everyone. It's going to be just fine.

Jack Russell Terrier

14. Jack Russell Terrier

Jack Russells are known to people who've never seen a real Jack Russell but have seen Frasier as "that cute little quiet dog", and known to owners of Jack Russells as "Jesus Christ not again. I walked you 20 minutes ago you asshole." Sure, they run and bark a lot, but they're also down to chill in front of the TV all day, if that's what you're into. They're the best versions of a lot of different dogs, shrunk down for your convenience.


13. Boxer

Boxer dogs are named such after their human counterparts because they are lean, powerful, and energetic, and not because they're violent and insane. If anything, it's today's human boxers that give the dogs a bad rap. Let's call boxer humans something like "punchies" so boxer dogs can lay uninhibited claim to their breed and not be dragged down any further by The Hangover 3.


12. Newfoundland

Newfoundlands are known for their docile nature, fondness of children, and shaggy coats, making them the rough equivalent to Dog Hagrid, which A) Is a perfect comparison befitting a detailed profile of this nature, and B) a movie I desperately want to exist.


11. Collie

Aside from being all fluffy and adorable, there've been about a billion films made about how awesome and helpful and smart Collies are (well, they were all about just one, but a bunch of different Collies had to play it, so there.) How cool are Collies? A friend of mine once excitedly texted me after he'd met and petted one. Really.