We can't all be Stephen Hawking level geniuses. I mean, we can't even all be like above average smart. A lot of us are dumb is what I'm trying to say. These embarrassing dumbos might take the cake with these painfully stupid questions they asked with 100% sincerity.
1. God has already pierced them for us. He's a freak like that.
I'm a postpartum nurse. A patient asked me "when will the doctor be here to pierce my nipples so I can breastfeed?"
MaleficentWatercress / Reddit.com
2. "Your dad got one of them lizard tail legs? Nah ok just checkin."
The insurance company asked if there was a chance that my dad's amputated leg would grow back.
Whatendings / Reddit.com
3. If you would've been chopping up a Turducken, this would've been a fair question.
While working as a butcher, I showed a deli clerk how to break down a whole chicken into pieces. I show her, "two breasts, two wings, two legs, two thighs." she looks at me and asks, "which part does the turkey come from?"
WildCatRupe / Reddit.com
4. Yes because car engines are proportional to their owner's human body. Anatomy 101.
Because I am a dwarf I get a lot of hilarious ones, but one of my favourites was "do you need to get a smaller engine for your car?"
I really wish I could have seen your internal process that led to that question, lady.
ghiscari_ / Reddit.com
5. I'm still trying to figure this one out.
Someone was placing an order once at my family's restaurant, and they had asked me for a side of French fries without the potatoes. I assumed she was joking, so I laughed...she wasn't joking. She got offended and left the restaurant lol
mr_unoriginal88 / Reddit.com
6. Uhhhh cuz they told us?
How did we know that they were called dinosaurs?
urbanmark / Reddit.com
7. Dumb teens will be dumb.
I worked in a pizza restaurant when I was 16. They had a pizza they called a UFO pizza. It was just another slab of dough on top of a regular pizza, and it made it look like an orb, hence the name.
One day a guy that worked there was writing down a telephone order, turns around and says "hey guys, how do you spell UFO??" The owner looked mortified and just repeated "youuu eefff ohhh!!". He stared back in silence for a few moments before it hit him.
lessparanoidandroid / Reddit.com
8. But for real show us an infant squirrel.
My twenty-something daughter asked why we never see squirrel eggs. Us parent types responded that's because squirrels are mammals and don't lay eggs like birds do. To which she responded, then show me an infant squirrel / "breastfeeding" squirrel.
This led to a conversation that was much longer than needed to be.
floridianreader / Reddit.com
9. Wow. Amazing.
People visiting Alaska on a cruise would walk onto the dock-- a dock portruding into the pacific ocean-- then look up at the mountains and ask what elevation we were at.
1 foot, ma'am. You are standing on a dock which is at sea level.
backpackbuddhabowl / Reddit.com
10. And to them, you're an IT genius.
My current boss asked me to "make the pages smaller" so she can see all of them" she had excel zoomed in to 200% and thought I was just sending things in font 46. This person has been in her position for 12 years. Ugh.
fluffykittenears / Reddit.com
11. "Uhh, am I on a really lame prank show?"
First day working a tech support job, I answer a phone call from a woman whose laptop won't turn on. She's at the airport trying to get some work done and is very frustrated because she had been working for several hours during a layover and the laptop suddenly shut off. I asked her if she had the laptop plugged in when it shut off, or if she was just running it on the battery. "It can be plugged in? I thought it was supposed to be wireless."
I honestly thought I was being pranked because I was the new guy. After a lengthy pause to decide if this was a serious call, I advised her to try plugging it in. Laptop turned on, she was amazed that it didn't just recharge itself when she wasn't using it.
DextrosKnight / Reddit.com
12. All directions revolve around me.
In my driver's ed class the instructor was discussing cardinal directions.
He asked a girl on the front row what direction her house was from here.
She points out the window and he goes "so, West?"
She responds "well, it's my East because I'm facing you. "
Baltusrol / Reddit.com
13. We do, yes. You, apparently, do not however.
"Do we have the ability to open digital files?"
This is the guy who would print PDFs from our server then scan the print to his email so he could save them to his desktop...
Minister_Garbitsch / Reddit.com
14. I mean, it depends on the length of the song.
Was a Mac Genius for 7 years, customer asked if her iPod would get heavier as she puts more music on it.
FizzyBeverage / Reddit.com
15. Uhoh guys, the night clouds are upon us. Flee to safety.
In high school, we were warming up before a baseball game one evening and some really ominous, dark clouds started rolling in. One of my teammates very seriously asked "Is that a storm or is that just night coming?". I will never forget that.
eezus34 / Reddit.com
16. I would love to know how she reacted after you sprung the news.
A girlfriend of a friend of mine asked. " I wonder what it was like before color". This chick thought the WORLD WAS BLACK AND WHITE not film.