Listen up Tom Holland, we're calling your spidey ass out - YOU THINK YOU'RE SO HOT?! Well take this!!
Now pay some goddamn respect to your founding father, the King, Tobey Maguire, for making you what you are today.
1. If you haven't already seen this, prepare your heart for sadness
2. I've seen this raw strength only once before
3. FYI my avatar on my family's Netflix account is the little chicken man
4. BONESAW IS PERSON TOO
5. How many times must we teach you this lesson, old lady
6. That's what I love about Tobey Maguire man, I get older, he stays the same age
7. Kids, you have to keep this a secret. Now lift me over your heads and carry me telephone style
8. I want Mrs. Butterworth to rock me to sleep
9. Get fucked Garf
10. I miss the old Spiderman, the pouty Spiderman
11. CUT MY LIFE INTO PIECES
12. Still tracking down kids' lost balloons in the Gamecube version of 2
13. BONESAW IS TRYING TO SLEEP
14. Great, well I don't like you
15. Godspeed, Spiderman
16. Too shy to say anything tho so Filet-o-Fish it is
We like you. Do you like us too?