Nobody said parenting was easy. Among the more difficult parts? Finding shit like this and then having to talk about it
1. Boy penies more often than not aren't sexy, so it's important to specify, seizuresquirrel
I once found my sister trying to search "sexy boy penies" She might have just missed an S, but I still find it hilarious
2. _flam_ingo catching her stepdaughter...working some stuff out
I found my stepdaughter's musical.ly account. She had a bunch of poor attempts at sexy belly dancing to various Evanescence songs.
3. A short story that speaks volumes, from Maximus125
My friend told us about how he found his brother's search history:
Girl not have penis?
Why girl not have penis?
He was 10
4. swordswench's brother just wants you to yell at him like one of your French girls, mom.
Not technically a parent but an older sister, so my little brother when he was around 7ish had a search history of naked women and such. And when my mother found out and confronted him he cried and was saying he just wanted to be like Jack from the titanic by drawing naked women and he had a few pages of his attempted drawings
5. Concise intel being acquired here, AndyWarwheels
My kids are preteen I was on their computer one time and found a series of internet searches:
6. bananapunk and siblings all chipped in and got you tits for your birthday mom
When he was little, my brother once wanted to help us find a cool new purse to order for my mom's birthday. He image searched "fun bags," and my parents had to answer a LOT of questions.
7. Take notes kids. sledge8234's cousin is untraceable
I went through my 13 year olds cousin iPad.
He had searched "cream pie", "girls doing a cream pie" and "cream pie videos".
After, searches for "apple pie", "pizza pie", "peach pie" and "raspberry pie" camre up, presumably to disguise his actual aims.
8. thegirlwholikescats, your brother is about to make the transition from Fuckboy...to Fuckman
Not a parent, but the other day my twelve year old little brother posted a topless photo on instagram with the caption "FuckBoy"
9. Shoutout the young ones who give their parents, like Jamesfreyr, a pleasant surprise
Daughter was 6 at the time. She wad supposed to be asleep and I go to charge up her kindle and cant find it. Go to her room and quietly sneak in. I find her watching a video under a blanket. Its popular mechanics and how to build your own windmill. She had a mock model in the corner of the room she was working on. Definitely wasnt expecting that.
10. Hey, at least now he knows, ianmac17
Checked my 11 year old sons search history to find a number of interesting questions...
Do men grow vaginas?
Will my penis disappear when I'm 18?
Will I become a girl?
How do I save my penis?
I asked him about his search history a couple days later and he told me that some kids in his school told him that when boys turn 18 they turn into girls and lose their penis. Those bastards...
11. Looks like I'm the one who sees you when you're bad or good now, Santa. Via DeluxxChiliMac
Hopped on my nephews tablet and proceeded to pull up the internet browser. Immediately I was staring at a screenshot of an overweight homeless looking Santa, knocking the cornhole out of a much younger Mrs. Clause. I immediately asked my nephew what kind of research he was doing with his Santa video and his face turned fire engine red and he scurried back to his room.
12. Chickiepie tells us of his son's own personal Goldilocks experience
this was before my son was on social media; he was 7 or 8, and he asked if he could have some "alone time" in the office. I looked at his search history:
"big boobs" (which turned up weird humongous photoshopped boobs) immediately followed by
"little boobs" and then
"hot grils" which turned up page after page of Weber grills.
He's 18 now and has no memory of this.
13. C'mon Internet, think of the children. From pywhacket
When my twins were young, elementary school, they were looking up the Simpsons and accidentally came across cartoon Simpson's pornography. The computer was in the living room so I heard them giggling and turned to see two guilty little faces. So hard not to laugh and so disturbing! What a conversation... The sight of Milhouse and Lisa is forever burned into my retinas.
14. MROlson getting a very explicit picture painted by his step brother in-law
My 15-year old step bro-in-law used my wife's laptop while he was visiting the house and forgot to clear the history. His google searches included: girls pussing, hot puss, pussy willows, boobs and pussing, pussing sex.
15. Ah, I see he is a man of culture and refinement, princessfairykitten
Saw my 12-yr old brothers search history once. Was literally "boobs butt and also vagina"
16. At least it looks good tho, TheeAJPowell
Can I do the inverse? My dad recently opened an Instagram account, and within 10 minutes of having it, managed to accidentally upload a screenshot of our wifi password to it.
Like, I have no idea how he managed that. Even put a filter on it, for some reason.