If not a hearty chuckle, we hope these can at least supply you with a gentle smile.
1. Drop something on him, hang glider cop!
HANG GLIDER COP: I see a crime happening directly below me-- Joe West (@joejwest) January 20, 2015
Not much I can do
2. And yet irl they're somehow $600.
These the boots that's already in ya inventory when ya start the RPG pic.twitter.com/vuOX6P11wQ-- Gyarados Equis (@PokemonyeWest) December 9, 2016
3. The worst feeling.
from the makers of "im too tired to go to bed" comes the thriling "i didnt eat anythig today so now im too hungry to figure out what to eat"-- jomny sun (@jonnysun) August 1, 2017
4. Damn. Far too accurate.
Why is Bran Stark aging into an exact average of all four Beatles pic.twitter.com/vfibn3elvk-- David Thorpe (@Arr) July 31, 2017
5. Love this.
PUBLISHER: I hope this is better than your last book idea about a murderer called Hurderer-- Tom Neenan (@TNeenan) July 31, 2017
THOMAS HARRIS: Its about a cannibal
P: Go on
6. Nobody beats the sun. Nobody.
Some dude just called me a pussy for putting on sunscreen. Imagine thinking you're tougher than the sun? The fucking sun?-- "Riggs" (@RiggsBarstool) June 10, 2017
7. I'm down.
Motion to call sun-dried tomatoes "Sunny Ts"-- Sean Clements (@SeanClements) July 31, 2017
8. It's the lesser of two evils.
I've been feeling soooo torn but I've made a decision. I'm gonna vote for Kid Rock for Senate in hopes that he has less time to make music.-- JEN KIRKMAN (@JenKirkman) August 1, 2017
9. I'm thinking it's straight up 100%.
When someone tells you their hands are cold, there's a 95% chance they're going to put their hands on you to prove how cold they are.-- Lindsay (@Rollinintheseat) July 25, 2017
10. Deep breaths: The answer to all of life's problems.
friend: just take a deep breath and relax-- Bob Vulfov (@bobvulfov) August 1, 2017
me: wow u have done it. u have solved my mental health issues
11. Stress seeps into every fiber of your being.
Sometimes I get so stressed that the stress stays in my body even after the thing I was stressed about is over like it's in my muscle tissue-- Sarah Kay (@kaysarahsera) July 31, 2017