You may remember a few weeks back, President Donald Trump famously tweeted "Despite the constant negative press covfefe" - and then went radio silent for hours, as the internet went from gently mocking the obvious spelling error to genuinely wondering if something was amiss due to the tweet not being immediately deleted. Of course, it was deleted the next day - but in the time before that, the internet went wild making jokes and riffing on the President's accidental tweet.
And, this being the internet, many outlets were quick to jump on the story and rush out a post about it - collecting people roasting the president, adding their own commentary, and recapping the situation for people unfamiliar with it. Frankly, it was a little gross to see so many publishers push out an article so quickly and without taking the proper time and patience a story like this deserves. Sadly, the internet moves very quickly, so sometimes quality must be sacrificed.
We, however, did not make that error - we've been slowly (but surely!) writing, researching, and editing our own covfefe post for the past several weeks. We've been chasing down leads and fine-tuning every single word to make sure the CollegeHumor covfefe post is the best of the best. We would not want to disappoint our readership with a sub-par post on covfefe simply in the interest of timeliness.
Our first step was reaching out to Harvard's Professor of English, Daniel Donoghue - whose specialties include a history of language - for his take on the situation. Professor Donoghue did not get back to us, but when I reached out to a few more professors, I got a slew of valuable responses, including:
From a month ago?
It's just a misspelling. Why are you emailing me about this at the end of June?
I think you're a little late to this story, Mr. Bridgman.
Using this valuable information, I gathered the entire editorial staff at CollegeHumor in a series of all-day brainstorming sessions over the course of the past two weeks - and they came up with a lot of thought starters:
We are way too late to this
Why didn't we just write an article the day it happened???
Literally every joke has already been made and beaten into the ground. It was overdone like 2 hours after it happened. What the hell
We could be working on actual real new articles you fucking idiot
After getting past a few hurdles and complainers, I managed to get some really productive work out of the team - and we now present to you: CollegeHumor's Official 5 Jokes About The Covfefe Tweet!
Joke #1: Covfefe? Sounds like an alternative fact to me!
Joke #2: Covfefe? Is that the Russian word for "Oops!"?
Joke #3: Guess it's time for Trump to make America covfefe again!
Joke #4: I would hate it if Trump grabbed me by my covfefe!
Joke #5: BREAKING NEWS! Donald Trump just appointed Left Shark the Secretary of Covfefe!
Thank you for your time, your patience, and your understanding. We are committed to only bringing you the best, most thought-out comedy content possible, which is why we took so long to ensure the quality of our covfefe article. I for one think it was well worth the wait!
And don't worry - we're all hard at work on our next big article, where we cover that time Trump called Jeb Bush "low energy."