Some people are just natural born buzzkills.
1. Thanks, mom.
2. Way to bring the room down, Lisa.
3. No McDonalds and no dad, double bummer.
4. Maybe don't take everything so literally? Just a thought.
6. Kat's got some issues.
7. Somebody needs a hug. And some Zoloft.
8. Yeah, ya' jackoff.
9. TL;DR: Everything is awful, and God doesn't care.
10. Cornell requires its applicants to know how to read, so... sorry.
11. Dad would have wanted you to lighten the hell up, Mary.