Disney movies present simple tales of good vs. evil, of true love triumphing over all obstacles, and of really helpful animal critters.
Unfortunately, real life doesn't exactly follow the same rules...
Was your first kiss with your significant other a soaring, perfect embrace....or was it more of a sloppy, kinda awkward, way-too-much-tongue mess? Probably the second one.
JUST BECAUSE YOU MARRIED MY DAD DOESN'T MEAN I HAVE TO LISTEN TO YOUR BULLSHIT, LINDA. I'M GOIN' TO THE BALL AND YOU CAN SUCK IT.
Mirror mirror, on the wall...why's my left boob kinda small? Also, ew, another pimple? C'mon, mirror, gimme a break.
It'd be real swell if nature were as kind and friendly as it is in Pocahontas or Bambi, instead of the uncomfortable, dangerous, allergy-ridden nightmare it is in real life.
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