One thing we never grow out of is emotional immaturity when it comes to flirting. These middle-school flirting techniques are tried and true, so let's break them back out!


1 Tease Them

Flirting should be all about making the other person feel insecure enough to think that you're actually a catch, So tease your crush so much he thinks you might legitimately hate him. Back in Middle School, we would call each other losers or weirdos. Now we use words like Republican or Vegan.

Practical Use: The next time Stephanie posts something on Facebook, call her a "misguided ignoramus"  in the comments.


2 Play Hard to Get

Nothing says "I love you" like refusing to acknowledge that person's existence ever. The more you give your crush the silent treatment, the more they'll know you've got it bad. Sure, refusing to talk to or even make eye contact with that person might bring that person to tears, but at least you won't be giving your feelings away.

Practical Use: Avoid any and all contact with Kevin when you see him at a fundraiser. When he comes over to try to talk to you about the cure for ALS, run away as fast as possible.


3 Send a Note

 Not knowing where you stand with the other person can make you feel insecure, so straight up ask the other person how they feel in the most indirectly direct way possible - through a note. In grade school, you could have your buddy slip your crush a note right after English. In adulthood, Facebook polls work just as well.

Practical Use: Send Allison an Evite asking her to RSVP yes or no on her feelings for you. 


4 Rough House with Them

 As a child, hair pulling was obnoxious. As an adult, it's a little kinky. Show that special someone a little tough love with a nice punch in the arm. Your crush will give you the attention you're clearly looking for. If it's through asking you out on a date or filing assault charges, either way you'll be noticed!

Practical Use: When Sexy Arm Steve asks you to help you with crow pose in yoga class, push him over.


5 Never Show A Preference

If you do anything that might remotely, possibly, potentially show that person you might like them more than another person, immediately turn around and do that exact same thing to another person. Remember the first rule of flirting? Never let that person know you like them.

Practical Use:  Swipe right on the guy on Tinder who seems so impossibly perfect he shouldn't exist, then swipe right on every single other guy after that.