How It Works: After clicking on a link, you have the option to "Unclick" it, and the post/article does not receive credit for your click.

How It's Used: Now you can finally click on super-baity headlines or really angering obviously-trolly articles without giving that author or the website the attention & ad-revenue it so desperately craves. Also useful for posts with only one piece of information, like "You Won't Believe This One Tweet..." or "Wow, WHAT State Has The Highest Rate of Incest???" so you can click, see the one thing, and unclick.

Result: Over time, this will de-emphasize websites' need to grab everyone's attention with overly sensationalized or troll-ey or entirely inaccurate titles for things, and no more websites benefit from hate-clicks or by hiding crucial information in the title so you HAVE to click. People can leave the 'clicks' on posts they like.

Of course, this will lead to the instant financial ruin of every online enterprise, but hey, at least I can finally click on that "Why Game of Thrones is actually the worst thing ever recorded, you pieces of shit" post without benefitting the author.


How It Works: When someone's livetweeting something you're not interested in, or likely to post a spoiler about a show or sporting event you haven't watched yet, you can click this to simply mute them on Twitter/FB for a 24 hour period without then having to remember to re-follow them the next day.

How It's Used: This has been suggested so many times by so many different people, I actually had to double-check to make sure it wasn't already a feature. But now when someone starts posting really specific angry tweets about a college football game they're watching, you don't have to either suck it up or completely cut them off.

Result: Everyone feels freer to post about specific non-universal events without rapidly losing followers or pissing everyone off. (Think: Norm MacDonald livetweeting The Masters)

How It Works: Whenever someone posts an Instagram or Facebook pic of a meal, you can click on that pic and have the restaurant immediately deliver you that item. Or, if the restaurant is nowhere near you, it'll geo-target the closest approximation in your area and have that restaurant attempt to send you the same dish or something as close as possible. Or if it's something way too unique, it just sends you a burrito.

How It's Used: Complaining about pics of food is stupid and passe. Food is delicious, and pictures of food are excellent, but they trigger an angering response on social media for one obvious reason: you're JEALOUS you're not eating the thing in the photo that very second. One-Click Photo Food Delivery lets you SHARE THE EXPERIENCE (approximately).

Result: Now when someone posts a pic of moules frites on a dock in the South of France, instead of being jealous of their vacation, you simply click and in MINUTES you're eating some too! It might be fish & chips from a close-ish sports pub, but whatever, it's delicious. Eat it, stupid France friend.

How It Works: When someone posts an article or a news story that they strongly disagree with and accompany it with an explanation of why the thing is wrong and bad, you sometimes want to 'like' that person's argument, but you can't do it without making it look like you're 'liking' the bad thing they posted, not their status that's ripping on it.

How It's Used: Now when you 'like' something, it'll clearly be attached to the status, not directly underneath the image of the dumb thing you're very specifically not actually liking. Or the likes can still stay there, but it'll say "[Person] likes your post about the thing, not the thing itself. The thing itself is bad, for reasons you have laid out and explained clearly. Anyway thanks for posting the thing!" all in one giant button. That works too.

Result: Way more likes and way less "wait, shit, I didn't mean I 'like' this thing, I like your sentence about it, but the thing is, I mean, well, dammit..."