Do you like Deez Nuts? Would you want Deez Nuts representing your country? Do you feel safe under Deez Nuts? These are all important questions you should be asking yourself, because somehow a political candidate who goes by Deez Nuts has climbed the polls and is now the leading independent presidential candidate. (*Looks to sky for asteroid heading toward collision with Earth.)
Deez Nuts is actually a teenager -- of course -- from Iowa by the name of Brady Olson who began his presidential run by officially filing with the Federal Election Commission. Being that the Federal Election Commission is a government outfit and thus prone to running with all the efficiency of a government outfit, Deez Nuts slipped through the cracks despite the law stating that a minor can't run for President of the United States of America.
The best part of the whole thing -- Deez Nuts is killin' it in the polls! On Wednesday, Deez Nuts was in the lead as the TOP-POLLING independent candidate. Yeah, everybody wants a piece of ya boy Deez Nuts.
"My name is not Deez Nuts," he said in an email interview. "I am a 15-year-old who filled out a form, had the campaign catch on fire, and am now putting up the best third-party numbers since Ross Perot."
Look out, America, Deez Nuts is coming for the White House.