updating your flash player while watching porn

There's nothing worse than finally getting some alone time by the ol' computering hole only to find that your porn-watching experience is gonna be delayed indefinitely because you have to update your browser's flash plugin. Dammit!!! This is REALLY gonna cut into the 45 minutes you were inexplicably just about to somehow take!

The so called "Greatest Generation" of the 40s never had to experience this. Their one ratty copy of some magazine with part of Mae West's shoulder exposed that they all used to masturbate in between bouts of constant lifethreatening combat NEVER had to be updated. Lucky devils!


2 When audio starts playing from your phone in the bathroom stall

Whoops! You clicked on a thing on Facebook you thought was a GIF but actually it's a video and now a couple seconds of sound started playing and everyone else in your office bathroom knows you were looking at your phone while shitting. They were too, obviously, but you can't prove it. And also no one cares. But MAN did you get a rush of terrified adrenaline when that Geico ad started.

The Greatest Generation never had this problem when they were shitting on their toilets and reading newspapers, or reading nothing, particularly if they were shitting in ditches while out in the field of a history-altering battle with incalculable casualties. Advantage: THEM.


missing and event because the Facebook title was too complicated

Oh crap, that was Alex's Birthday Party last Saturday?? I didn't even notice the invite because the title was a two-sentence-long inside joke and it didn't even mention Birthdays or Parties until after the "..." part that got cut off. Sorry I missed it.

Do you think any wives from the "Greatest Generation" missed any telegrams from the War Office because the telegram title was too complicated?? Uhh, VERY unlikely.


having too many good tv shows to possibly watch them all

There's nothing more overwhelming than hearing about another great tv series that you "have to watch" and feeling left out and wanting to quit your job just so you can catch up on everything. It's rough!

People in the 40s never had this problem. They only had one fuzzy channel that beamed out radioactive theremin noises and alternated between the news and footage of a dude riding a horse on a sound stage. It was VERY easy for the Greatest Generation to stay caught up on sound stage horse man.


a delivery place making a tiny mistake that messes up your meal but isnt big ought call and complain about

Ahh, dammit, the Mexican place left out the little plastic thing of chipotle salsa. That's the best part! But I'm not gonna call and tell the delivery guy to come all the way back here to hand me a tiny plastic thing of sauce, plus my burrito's gonna be cold by then. Guess I'll just use (ughhh) regular hot sauce from my fridge.

The Greatest Generation never had this problem, or delivery food at all, really, besides the occasional pizza in cities. I guess maybe the milkman screwed up a few times? But he'd just smile and tip his cap and secretly be banging the wife, if I understand history correctly.