Expect to see a lot of sunshine out there today, folks. We've got temperatures at a comfortable temperature of around 75˚. Don't worry about a thing because in this kind of weather things couldn't be brighter--you know exactly where you want to work and what you want to do. There do appear to be some swirling winds and clouds forming on the horizon that could jumble things up in the future, but you should just ignore those and enjoy today for what it is.
Today things are going to be a little tough to see out there. There's going to be a little early morning fog that will put a gloomy touch on the day. You can expect little sunshine throughout the day as you search for clearance from all the ambiguous emails and applications you sent in recently. Automated responses offer very little sunshine on the glimmer of hope you'll ever get out of your parent's guest room.
Be on the lookout for black ice after overnight freezing rains. You totally missed that typo in your resume under skills which read "Pubic Speaking" and caused a major crash on your highway to success. Expect heavy snowfall throughout the day. It's strongly cautioned you do not leave the house and stay in your sweats for the duration of the day--you're unemployed after all. Find comfort in Netflix, because today is just a good day for that.
While outside it's advised you bundle up with scarves, because the heavy breathing down your neck from friends and family will send shivers up your spine. Those with sensitive skin should especially bundle up and moisturize, because your skin will crack from the peppering of questions:
Friend you just ran into--"How's the hunt going?"
Grandparents--"Heard anything yet?"
Parents--"How much money do you need?"
Lots of rain today, specifically on your dreams. A rain cloud will be hanging overhead all day with an inescapable down pour. Be on the lookout for a flash flood warning from excess amount of tears throughout today.
With little warning a plethora of red hot emails are coming your way. Now instead of dangling time between naps and Netflix you're searching for time in your "busy" day to fit in a phone interview and background knowledge testing. Things are really going to heat up today and suddenly you'll feel like a living, breathing human once again--not the apparently mute, sloth-like creature you were evolving into.
Lots of moisture in the air today with unpleasantly high temperatures as you sweat out the interview process. Wear layers to cover your pit stains during the face to face interactions, as you hope not to flub on an unexpected question. Expect to carry the sweating into the night, waking up too hot to sleep while tossing and turning all night from discomfort. Unfortunately from here, muggy conditions will continue indefinitely--up to 6 weeks--while awaiting a follow-up email or phone call. Touching base with them will only increase muggy conditions when those attempts go unnoticed. Antiperspirant and loose clothing are advised throughout these prolonged conditions.