9 Obituaries for Every Time You Thought You Were Dying
============================================ Tom Miller 7, Tucson, died August 12, 1995 playing touch football with his older brother's friends when he fell awkwardly and got the wind knocked out of him. He knew something had gone terribly wrong when suddenly he couldn't breathe for like 12 seconds and then, he was gone. All he wanted to do was score a touchdown. Tommy Miller 9, Tuscon, died April 30, 1997 after battling the flu for three days in a row. Eventually he started to wonder if he would ever feel normal again, though deep down he already knew the answer. Family members say they have found comfort knowing little Tommy went out doing what he loved: shooting the dog with a Nerf gun and watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 15 times in a row. Tom "T-Dawg" Miller 12, Tuscon, died November 5, 2000 after being bitten by a spider in the middle of the night. He'd seen the spider scamper off earlier that day and thanks to that morning's biology lesson, he knew right away it was a brown recluse that would come back to kill him as soon as it had the chance. Poor T-Dawg was right. He loved Mountain Dew. Tom "T-Mill" Miller 13, Tuscon, died January 18, 2001 after masturbating twice in the same day. He'd heard rumors that it could make you go blind or even worse, and the rumors turned out to be true. He should have listened to his mother. He loved Jenna Jameson. Tom "Big T" Miller 16, Milwaukee, died February 5, 2004 after his car started sliding on the road and he totally panicked. Big T had never driven in winter weather before, and when he tapped on the brakes and literally nothing happened, he knew he was doomed. Officers found his cold lifeless body stuck in a ditch four days later, just as he predicted. He loved carpenter jeans. Tom Miller AKA "Snuggle Bug" 17, Milwaukee, died June 9, 2005 after his girlfriend of six whole months dumped him out of nowhere. The pain was so much he knew he wouldn't be able to go on without her, though even if he could it's not like there'd be any point. He loved She's All That, which always reminded him of her. T. Edgar Miller 21, Madison, died September 21, 2009 after waking up with a severe hangover, not eating for 12 hours, smoking a cigarette, then standing up too fast. T. Edgar reportedly became extremely lightheaded and had to lay back down, at which point his body just shut down altogether and never recovered. He loved reggae. Edgar Miller 23, Chicago, died September 6, 2011 after a robber broke into his apartment and murdered him in his sleep. It was reportedly Edgar's first night living by himself and although he did hear the robber break in, the 23-year-old reportedly told himself it was probably just the wind and to stop being such a baby. He loved ramen noodles. Tom Miller 26, Chicago, died March 14, 2014 in a plane crash on a business trip to New York. It apparently started when the plane hit a patch of turbulence, at which point Mr. Miller just knew God was going to strike him dead now that he finally had a real job and was becoming moderately successful. He loved the extra legroom in first class. Thomas E. Miller 27, Chicago, died February 7, 2015 after noticing a mole on his neck looked a little funky. Just as Thomas suspected, he went to the doctor and found out it was full blown cancer, which spread through the rest of his body that very day. According to doctors, Mr. Miller actually took the news quite well, however, saying he was just surprised he lived as long as he did.