Them: A dog who who can play basketball. You need hands to play basketball, and dogs don't have hands, but somehow Air Bud is athletic enough to play basketball, and score, against humans.
You: A human who just got tired walking up the three stairs to enter your apartment building and thought, "I should dial up 911 on my phone just in case I have a heart attack and need to call."
Them: Self-Employed executive Chef at a 5 star French restaurant, even though he'd suffocate if he got trapped under one of his pots.
You: Struggling to properly cook easy mac but telling yourself they only use the word, "easy," as a marketing ploy.
Them: Always ready with a joke and to go on adventures, one of the coolest mammals on the planet, takes everything is stride.
You: Rewatching the third season of the Simpsons for the fourth time because you own the DVDs and, "it's cold outside."
Them: A dog who is seven, eight at most, and is wise enough to have lived for 1,000 years. A leader of other animals and someone to look up to.
You: A human who has lived many years and just bought a new pack of pokemon cards.
Them: A young, enthusiastic lion who will one day be a fair and just king of the jungle.
You: A young, lazy human who gets sweaty if he stands up for too long.
Them: A bear who lives in the woods but is still able to dress with a hat and tie everyday, and is a mentor to a younger bear.
You: Live in a large city and are overly proud of the sweatpants you converted into shorts, and call your little brother once a year. The day after his birthday.
Them: A consultant to the Grand Vizier of Agrabah, this parrot has ascended to a prominent political position while being a bird.
You: Years after graduating college you just got a part-time unpaid internship in your desired field and you live with seven strangers you met on craigslist.
More Human and Animal Things