Did you know coffee is technically a narcotic? It's true! Take a look at the below to see where you fall on the coffee addiction spectrum.
Catchphrase: Don't talk to me until I've had my coffee. (With a polite smile.)
Effect on User: Increased alertness and focus, Slight mood lift, Bowel movement.
Withdrawal Symptoms: Mild Headache, Fatigue.
Catchphrase: Don't talk to me until I've had my coffee. (With a withering glare.)
Effect on User: Able to focus on something as boring as an Excel spreadsheet, Overall jitteriness, Multiple and irregular bowel movements.
Withdrawal Symptoms: Blinding headache, Irritability, Constipation, Nodding off.
Catchphrase: Say a word to me before I've had my coffee, and I swear, I'LL EAT YOUR HEART WHILE IT'S STILL BEATING!
Effect On User: Incredible focus on tedious activities like cleaning and picking one's skin, Nervous tics, Yellow teeth, Paranoia, Explosive diarrhea.
Withdrawal Symptoms: Hallucinations, Vomiting, Extreme constipation.
Catchphrase: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, JUST INJECT THE COFFEE INTO MY JUGULAR VEIN!
Effect On User: Ability to bend spoons with mind, Unexplainable computer hacking skills, Nose bleeds, Brown teeth, Exploding heart.
Withdrawal Symptoms: Ripping one's skin off, Robbing a Starbucks.