To The Tourist, everything is a beautiful memory that needs to be captured. How else will they prove to their friends and family how much fun they had on their trip?
They'll stop every five steps to take a picture of a tree or a dog or something else they could EASILY find back home, while everyone behind them struggles to go around without getting in the way of their photo.
The only thing more annoying than The Group taking up all of the available walking space on the sidewalk is how happy they are while they're doing it.
They'll shuffle along without a care in the world, talking and laughing it up, probably headed somewhere super fun while you seethe quietly behind them, just trying to get by so you can seethe quietly in the comfort of your own home like a NORMAL PERSON.
Before we get too judgmental, let's consider the possibilities here.
Maybe this guy just had a life-changing epiphany that struck with such force as to render him motionless. Maybe you've just borne witness to the first beautiful moment that will change the rest of this man's life for the better. Maybe this one instant will forev- oh, no, wait, he just got a text message.
While their physical bodies may be walking down the street, make no mistake, they are not actually present. These makeshift androids are in cyberspace, so focused on texting their friends about brunch or whatever that they will ignore all external stimuli until their duty is complete.
Unfortunately, in this case, "external stimuli" includes speeding cars, cyclists, crosswalks, and of course, YOU, stuck behind them, secretly hoping that they walk into traffic just so they'll get out of the way for like a split second.
No one is entirely sure what causes The Weaver's erratic walking pattern. Is he drunk? Is he crazy? Is he just trying to get in your way when you have somewhere important to be?
You'll bide your time, waiting for him to weave out of your way, and then- SHIT he's already back.
Why can't he walk in a straight line?!
WHAT A TWIST! As much as it enrages you with OTHER people do these things, you will definitely, 100% do them at some point as well. And when you do, you'll be wondering what everyone else's problem is when they get frustrated.
Truly YOU are the greatest monster of them all.
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