5. Stop romanticizing New York already.

We don't need another song about how fun and glamorous New York is. NEW YORK IS NOT WAITING FOR YOU. It's loud and mean and gross. Taylor got her own apartment in New York when she was already a millionaire. Her average listener will definitely not have the same experience of the city. I know you think it'll be exciting and boho-chic to live in a tiny apartment with your bestie. But it'll stop being fun after your 16th consecutive dinner of ramen while you try to decide if you want to keep your HBOGO subscription or your gym membership.

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Looking out at the poor peasants (via billboard)

 

6. What's with the Polaroids?

They're all over the album and its promotional stuff -- supposedly candid snaps of Taylor lookin' fierce with lyrics written in the little space underneath. But they're obviously professionally styled, staged photos that were put through a vintage-y Instagram filter and slapped into a Polaroid format. And the way that they're presented is a little confusing. 13 physical copies are in each album, and apparently there are 65 total. So, what, does she expect us to trade them like baseball cards? Because I totally will. But that was really rude of her to assume.

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(via 1989 Polaroids)

 

7. How does Taylor Swift have time to collect enough life experiences to write these songs?

She's touring, recording, starring in Target commercials, taking over Tumblr, being best friends with every female in her 20s in the entertainment industry ... how does she have any time to form meaningful romantic relationships to write such relatable songs?

Too busy getttin' paid to snuggle with cats (via gotyourdemons)

 

Only one explanation ...

 

8. Why would Taylor violate my privacy?

I mean, the only way she could capture my feelings so precisely is if she actually broke into house, read my personal diary, and wrote the songs based on specific incidents in my life. It's really insensitve to bring up all those painful memories. As much as I love the album, I think it's a huge invasion of my personal space, and I intend to press charges.

 

If you're reading this, you might be in the mood for some break-up humor:

What the World Looks Like After Your Break-Up

Let's Break Up: The Activity Book

FLOWCHART: Are You Over Your Break-Up?