Shamu killed a trainer at SeaWorld. But you know what? He's just so darn cute! Sure, he a terrifying sea beast who will rip your abdomen open without thinking twice about it, and sure, it's insane to round up and imprison them so that they'll never be in close contact with humans again, but he just looks so darn cuddly! Here are more sea creatures you'd never suspect that they are definitely out to murder you.
1. Sea Lions
What? The guys that make all that noise off the San Francisco wharf? But they balance balls on their noses! Yeah, those clowns are super territorial and love biting people...TO DEATH. PROBABLY.
Aw, he's cute! Wasn't he in Finding Nemo? Yes - and he was totes ready to kill you then and now, because this motherfucker is full of tetrodotoxin, which is stronger than cyanide. Basically one of these bad boys could've single-handedly taken down the entire Hitler bunker.
3. Blue Ringed Octopus
Oooh, how pretty! Yeah, that's how it gets you. Poke that thing and it'll paralyze and/or cause respiratory failure. It ain't so pretty when you're dead, is it?
4. Green Sea Turtles
Surf's up, dude! Or should I say, surf's up, you'll get bitten by these bad boys? Sea turtles don't have teeth but they have serrated jaws and sharp beaks that can pack a wallop. Watch those chompers, DUDE.
5. Sea Urchins
Hey, it's like a little sea porcupine! Oh wait, those spikes hurt. Oh, double wait, those spikes on a sea urchin can penetrate and break off into human skin? Oh, DOUBLE DOUBLE WAIT, some of those spikes might be poisonous? Oh SHIT.
Hey, this guy was in Finding Nemo too! He taught the little sea kids about the ocean! And he also took down a dude who went by the name CROCODILE HUNTER.
Yes, the most playful marine mammals beloved the world over are actually awful, and have been known to attack humans, as well as get real sexually aggressive on scuba divers. Basically, don't leave your drink out anywhere near these smiley bastards.
8. Sea Otters
Of course the most adorable mammals -- who HOLD HANDS WHEN THEY SLEEP SO THEY DON'T FLOAT AWAY OMG -- can also transmit diseases to humans. The last time an animal transmitted a disease, we all know what happened. That's right. We aren't gonna let that happen again, OTTERS.