6 Sex Moves for When It's Freezing Outside
The Sexy Circus Tent [image: couple sweating, and panting in dark, cavernous sheet-tent. They both have frizzed up hair and their noses are red--clown-like] Create an air-tight tent of passion with your lover. Eventually get so sweaty and breathless from the confined space that you whip off the blankets and completely ruin the moment. The Dementor's Kiss [image: in bed, the guy extends his lips as far as possible, while the girl recoils in terror] Attempt to kiss your partner without having your gross winter beard touch her wind-chapped face. Porking the Pig [image: on a couch, guy and girl are BUNDLED from the waist up and their legs are frozen and goosebumped. the guy's teeth are chattering as he say, "Th-th-th-th-th-that's all folks!" Have sex without removing any of the layers on your upper body. No Job [image: girl blowing her nose in front of guy's crotch] Be way too stuffed up to give a blow job without asphyxiating yourself. Blow your nose instead. Mr. Freeze [image: a Mr. Freeze-ish-looking guy pulls his frozen, blue hand away from his partner, who is now watching TV on a laptop] Begin foreplay, but find that a single touch from your frozen hand has completely killed all arousal. That's cold! The Fortress of Solitude [image: guy jerking off alone by a roaring fire] Cancel all plans that involve going outside, turn up the heat, and beat that meat.