If The Real World Had College Rules
By Hallie Cantor
*Your window has a sign outside it that reads, "The street below this apartment observes quiet hours from 2am to 8am." *Your bathroom sink (with your toothbrush and toothpaste on the edge). Small sign on wall: "Bathroom is cleaned every Monday, Wednesday and Friday." *Twitter home screen. At the top of the page: "Plagiarization of jokes will result in expulsion." *A van has painted on the side: "Shuttle van makes stops at your office, your apartment, your gym, your bar, and nowhere else." The family planning aisle of a drugstore. "Condoms: $0.00" *Sign on a subway platform: "Free Wireless Internet Available Everywhere." *A very full conveyor belt full of groceries being checked out. The price machine reads, "Amount Due: 1 Meal Credit." *A spreadsheet marked "status report." Text at the top reads, "Your performance on this report will determine 80% of your final salary for the year."