Flowchart: Should You Get That Tattoo?
By Hallie Cantor
Can you handle pain? *puts out cigarette on own arm without flinching* NEXT QUESTION. -> next question I guess, kinda -> NO Are you ready to explain this tattoo's significance to everyone you meet for the rest of your life? Definitely, I will never get tired of talking about it. ->next question Ugh, do you really think everyone will ask about it? -> Yes. → NO How much do you like jokes about how you can't be buried in a Jewish cemetery? SO MUCH! -> next q Not that much ->NO Is it a stupid tattoo? I don't know. -> Next q UHHHH that depends, would you call a badass baby wearing sunglasses "stupid"?→ Yes. → NO Well, is it in a language you dont speak fluently? Nah. -> next q 是 ->NO Is it a song lyric or Bible verse? Lol no -> next q You don't understand. My Chemical Romance's lyricism SPEAKS to me and always will ->NO Is it on your lower back or, god forbid, your face? No! I'm not an idiot! -> next q ...maybe... -> NO It's not something REALLY stupid like a tribal arm band or dragon wings on your back, is it? No, I already told you it isn't a stupid tattoo! -> next q Hahahaha omg what no way definitely not but hypothetically if it were, uh, what would be wrong with that? ->NO Is it a joint thing with a friend/significant other? Yes -> next q No -> skips the next question, goes to "old and saggy" What if you guys break up? We won't break up! → BUT WHAT IF YOU DO??? ->NO Will this tattoo look okay when you get old and saggy? No, it will look terrible. But so will the rest of me, so who gives a shit? -> Yes I'll never be old and saggy! -> YES YOU WILL DON'T GET A TATTOO -> NO Yes: GET THAT TATTOO! No: Do not get that tattoo.