Having just graduated, I find myself facing a task even more daunting than that of finding a job, apartment and / or food: meeting girls. My tactical bag of tricks is finely-tuned for college, but as Mikey informs Trent in "'Swingers,' "You don't know how [college] is. The girls, they're young, they drink, they don't know any better." No truer words have ever been spoken. Now that college is over, so is my dating career. One last look at those approaches I can no longer employ.

Formals: If there's one thing that girls love, it's spending hours readying their expensive dresses and towering hairdos for an evening of scowling at other girls' expensive dresses and towering hairdos. And colleges love holding formals. You've got the school-sponsored formals, fraternity formals, sorority formals and bunch-of-kids-in-suits-putting-a-keg-in-their-suite-and-calling-it-a-formal formals, and many a lovely lady would kill a family member for an invite to any of the above. In the real world, formals only occur if you have:

a. A job
b. Any relative with marriage prospects.

Having neither – and with an invitation to any major awards show at least a few years away – it looks like a lonely "'t-shirt and jeans' year ahead.

Beirut (or Beer Pong to the Confederacy): There never has, and never will be, as effective of a pick up line as "wanna play Beirut?" It's the ultimate win-win proposition. If you lose the game, part ways amicably and seek out another partner – or, better yet, entice your gal with a rematch. Once you win, you're set: it's been unscientifically hypothesized that there exists no stronger aphrodisiac than the mixture of competition, teamwork and cheap beer. If you can't get laid in a Beirut-rich environment, you couldn't get laid at a "'get laid' convention.

Having a good major: The only aspect of college that could possibly translate to the real world is that of having a good major. In college, having a good major (read: anything not English. Or that "'health and society' shit, whatever that is) means that you'll have a good job, which means that you'll live comfortably, which means that your girl will have six trillion pairs of shoes. Engineering majors get hired to retire. Pre-med majors get hired into ninety years of education and training before they earn their mansion and trophy wife. English majors just don't get hired. I didn't have a good major in college and I don't have a good job now and if there's any word to describe my dating prospects, it's certainly not . . . good.

Tons of free alcohol: The cornerstone – Keystone, if you will – of American society, alcohol has always been the most proven method of wooing women. This is mainly because you aren't really wooing them. You're just depriving them of their senses, common or otherwise. But now that those same women have legitimate jobs, it's not going to be as easy to talk them into playing "Drink a bottle of Crown and strip." Not that the game was especially successful during college, but moderate variations were generally well-received. Now I'll have to pay a chick for a mid-week binge-n-bang session like that. But I'm broke, so I can't even do that. Things just aren't looking good.

Anyway, enjoy these hotlinks. And if there aren't enough for ya, you can check out CH Raw and see the ones that we reject too (and other stuff, of course). Peace!