The Best Way to End a TV Show
By Caldwell Tanner
The Perfect Ending 1. A family hugs their young son. They are drawn in a happy, cartoonish way. They stand in a warmly-lit, nicely furnished house. Snow falls outside the window. Father: I guess we’ve all learned a valuable lesson, haven’t we, Duffy? Duffy: You can say that again, pop! Mom: That’s our Duffy! 2. Cut out to reveal a quaint suburban home in the winter. A word bubble with the family’s laughter rises from above it. Family: HAHAHAHA! 3. The same house is now inside a small snowglobe, some small “ha’s” still trail towards the house. A child’s hands hold the snowglobe. 4. Duffy holds the snowglobe. He sits on the floor of a dingy apartment. His father and grandfather look at him. On a table are a picture of his mother, and an urn. Dad: I don’t get this autism thing, pop. He just sits there in his own little world. What’s he thinking about? Will we ever understand him? 5. A black screen. TITLE CARD: The End - Written by Thomas Durfitz 6. Shot of a script featuring the same dialogue as above. A man’s hands can be seen holding it. Head Writer: Great stuff, kid! 7. The Head Writer and Thomas Durfitz sit in an office. He happily compliments Thomas. The bottom of this panel should be fuzzy and dream-like. Head Writer: No one’s gonna suspect a twist like that, this script’s a real winner! 8. Cut out to reveal this is all taking place in the writer’s head as he sits comatose in a hospital bed. The Head Writer is now the doctor who talks to the writer’s crying wife. Doctor: His brain’s still active, but there’s little to no chance he’ll ever wake up. 9. Shot of a script featuring the same dialogue as above. A man’s hands can be seen holding it. 10. Head Writer and Thomas Durfitz sit in an office. Head Writer: This script sucks. You’re fired.