Once a week, resident chill-Internet-girl Marina will have a glass of whiskey and then answer your questions about life, love, college, sex or anything else you've got on your mind. There will be GIFS.

My college campus has to be by far the least friendliest campus in America. It's not that big of a deal but I'm the kind of person that's very friendly and all my old friends moved away or go to different schools. What are some things I can do to meet new people on and off campus? Or should I just be content with seclusion for the rest of college? Haha – Anonymous, Penn State

So your campus is all //www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/blanche.gif

and you're all

The good news is that there's no way that you're the only one on campus looking for some chill, friendly humans to hang out with. The bad news is that you're probably going to have to leave your dorm room to find them. I know what you're thinking: "But what if I leave the Internet and miss someone trying to explain Google to a rap icon?" Don't worry, there is plenty of Internet left for DMX to discover.

Here's what you should do: join something on campus. It can be a club, a co-ed intramural league, or even just a one-time-only charity walk. People are much friendlier when they're forced to hang out sober and with a common purpose. Grabbing a job is a pretty solid way to make some new pals too. If your personalities don't immediately click, at least you'll bond over how much of a dickhead your manager Trent is. Seriously, that guy is the worst.

Here's a stumper for ya, I go to the same college my older brother graduated from, now every time I go to talk to a girl 9 times out of 10 he has "history" with her. Suggestions? – Brian L, SUNY

Get over it. I know you probably feel like you're living in his shadow, but you can use this to your advantage. If you're picking the same colleges and girls, you're probably pretty similar. So think of him as your Amazon review. "Based on your interested in older brother, you may also enjoy: younger brother with winning personality." I have seen this work at bars. I mean, my friend has. But I imagine it might work. On my friend. Not me. Haha what? SOMEONE ASK SOMETHING ELSE.

If you're approaching a two-set at the club and trying to F-close how long do you cold read before negging to demonstrate value? – Ryan


Oh. Oh, buddy. No.

Do internet relationships work? – P.T, Des Moines

Internet relationships sound great in theory. You can spend 15 minutes perfectly crafting a casual-but-hilarious response to every message and defy the laws of physics with your biceps. Of course, the problem with all of this is that you're essentially just dating a photoshopped version of someone. And everything thing that makes the relationship easy—like ability to have long, meaningful conversations with them while taking a shit—can warp you into the kid who treats his love life like a sexy game of Farmville (water relationship, wait three hours, receive boob pix). Want a pen pal? Go wild. Want a relationship? Keep it offline. Boobs look better IRL anyway.


Need advice? You can tweet at @marinarachael, comment below, or ask on our tumblr. Check back next Tuesday to see if your question was answered!