If it's been a while since you've seen Total Recall, or if you're too young to have been seeing R-rated movies in 1990 and never caught up, here's irrefutable GIF proof that no remake can top Paul Verhoeven's Schwarzenegger-iffic original movie.

1. Arnold Schwarzenegger Kicks Ass In It

Obviously. He does that in every movie, and it never gets old.

2. Arnold Schwarzenegger Doesn't Know Who He Is

That way he doesn't have to be articulate, he just needs to ass-kick his way to the truth. This is exactly how Arnold Schwarzenegger should be used in every movie.