Keith Judd, Democratic Party
I know, I know. The Democratic Party is not exactly a third party. But come on. Mr. Judd is in prison in Texas, and recently challenged President Obama in the West Virginia (note: not Texas) Democratic Primary after simply paying the $2,500 entry fee and posting a profile online. Shockingly, he received a whopping 40% of votes. So he qualifies as something.
Possible Nickname: Shawshank Prez
Current Gig: Incarcerated at a low-security federal prison in Texarkana, Texas for making threats against the University of New Mexico (although he has already run for President four times, mayor of Albuquerque twice, and governor of New Mexico once)
Alma Mater: After receiving "Various Degrees" in Physics/Nuclear Physics/Acoustics from the University of California Los Alamos, Judd says he studied Political Science at the John F. Kennedy School of Politics at Harvard University (one year after his second run for mayor of Albuquerque)
Hobbies: Lists "ESP" and "Telling the Future" among his Special Talents. Played Bass for the Norman Fraser Band in 1985. Was a member of something called the "Federation of Super Heroes" from 1976-1982. Considers himself an "Agent/Individual Contractor" in the New York Society of Reproductive Medicine. Nice.
Favorite Website: Officially listed as "www.google-search.com"
Favorite Food: Officially listed as "I forgot"
Family Tree: Lists his mother as famous actress Lillian Russell, who somehow gave birth to Judd in 1958 despite dying in 1922
Weirdest Thing About Him: Oh, nothing. You know, nothing at all.