I'd like to congratulate Baltimore's Ray Lewis on being named the AP's "Defendant of the Year." Uh, that's defender. My mistake.

If any Super Bowl needed those Bud Bowl ads, it's this one. In a game where the projected total score is under 35, a hail-mary to a bottle of bud ice might be the only touchdown we get.

I'm looking forward to the new crop of Super Bowl commercials. I'm hoping that Coke and Pepsi can work out a deal where the polar bear devours that annoying little girl.

Girls – if a guy you like asks you what you're doing on Sunday, it's okay to say you're not watching the game. But for god sakes, do not say "why, what's Sunday?"

Last year, the best commercials were easily done by e-Trade. I don't know what's coming this year, but two retarded guys clapping wildly for a dancing monkey is going to be tough to beat.

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