Based on overall spending for the 2011-2012 fiscal year, I propose a major financial overhaul of my weird, lame-ass twenty-two year old life.

Twenty-Something Budget Proposal - Image 1

TOTAL 2011-2012 REVENUE:-Amount earned in 2011 summer internship: $0.00 (received complimentary company tote bag valued at $7.00)-Amount earned since then: Enough to support a family of four. If it were the Great Depression.Total: It'd be less embarrassing to say I was unpaid.

PROJECTED 2012-2013 REVENUE: -The same as 2011-2012 plus however much the next MegaMillions is.

TOTAL 2011-2012 SPENDING:-I hate myself. Yep. I truly hate myself.

TOTAL 2012-2013 BUDGET: Juuuuust enough so that my mom doesn't notice I've put shit on her Visa without her knowledge.

Twenty-Something Budget Proposal - Image 3


Food: -Chipotle Steak Burrito 3x per day = about $24.00IMPORTANT: MAJOR BUDGET CUT FOR 2012-2013: NO GUAC.

Rent: -More than I care to think about at this juncture, thank you very much. For sanity's sake, this shall be omitted from the budget.

Netflix: -$7.99/month-Total charge for year: However much my friend Ethan Kuperberg pays for his account (not my problem).

Contraceptives:-Total amount spent in 2011-2012: $8.00-Amount projected for 2012-2013 based on yearly performance: $0.00

Miscellany (Altoids, cell phone bill, utilities, living expenses, doctor/dentist bills, cool random expensive shit I feel like buying, etc.): -Meh. I'll make it work.