Are college mailrooms the minor leagues of the post office? "I want you to know this is the hardest part of a manager's job. Jim, you're not disgruntled enough. If you snapped, you'd kill one, maybe two people at the most. We're going to have to send you down for rehab."

Some kids get packages from their parents every week. Other kids already have plenty of double-A batteries, tube socks, and crushed up cookies from their grandmothers.

How many of you have your parents send you newspaper clippings from your local paper? Cause when you go to USC, you can't wait to hear all about the beauty pageant in Gary, Indiana.

I had a friend who would sign up on mailing lists just so he'd get mail, and then he'd throw it out the second he saw it was junk. Why even get your hopes up? Getting junk mail is like having an A on your paper, with a "Just kidding, you got a C" scribbled beneath it.

There are tens of thousands of colleges in the world and none of them has a decent mailroom. How am I supposed to trust these people to educate me when they can't even mail a god damned letter?

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