What you said in December: It's not that cold out right now and this windbreaker over my fleece is doing the trick for now. Sure it looks idiotic and doesn't match anything I wear, but I read on this fashion blog written by a 13 year-old that not matching is the new matching. I didn't believe it at first, but she's got like 300 followers, so she must know what's up.
What you said in February: OK, there were a couple days where it was actually freezing out, but that's what the turtleneck, doubled NorthFace fleeces, and thick plastic raincoat are for, right?
What you're saying now: Good thing I didn't waste my money on a fancy coat. I would have only worn it like sixty times. Now I have that money to spend on useful things. Who wants to go drink on a porch? I'm buying.
What you said in December: I am the best kid ever. Did I get my mom a lame book for Christmas? Nah. I spent 80 bucks on a Kindle. Beat that, Cousin Kevin.
What you said in February: No, mom, you need an Internet connection to download a book. The house wi-fi doesn't reach the car. We're on the phone now. That's different from wi-fi. Yes, my phone also has wi-fi. Listen, I'll just put some books on it when I come home for President's Day.
What you're saying now: No, mom, you keep downloading The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo in different languages. Just- no. I should have gotten you a scented candle like Kevin.
What you said in December: You know what would be so fun? Ice skating! God, when was the last time I went ice skating? Sarah Lubin's birthday party in 6th grade? I've gotta go ice skating this year.
What you said in February: Sweet Jesus it's cold. Let's just stay in tonight. We'll definitely go ice skating before the season ends though.
What you're saying now: Whoa, how did it get so warm? March is usually still cold, right? Right. It's not my fault the skating thing fell through. But it probably wouldn't have been as fun as I remembered anyway. Now, seriously, porch drinking. Let's do it.
What you said in December: All of the crappy last-minute-gift stores are full of really dumb books that used to be really dumb blogs. I can definitely make a better blog. I just need an idea.
What you said in February: What does the Internet like? Cats, Star Wars, complaining. I can just photoshop complaints about Star Wars over pictures of cats. You're welcome, Internet. No. George Lucas is an asshole. He'd just sue me for the millions I'd inevitably make off of that idea.
What you're saying now: Maybe I should make a Twitter account instead
What you said in December: I'm an educated human who's far too qualified for such mundane tasks. Obviously I'm capable of performing a simple technical chore. Now, where's that manual?
What you said in February: It says, and I quote, "Press CLOCK button and enter time." What am I missing here?!? God damnit, I'm an hour late for work again.
What you're saying now: Welp, once again, extreme laziness has paid off. Just like the inventors of the microwave wanted.