Joe Man got a dilemma for you,

I'm currently in Germany with the Air Force and there is a girl back home @ Florida State which I had a thing for back in High School and well one night when I was home on leave we kinda fooled around a bit. But we were both drunk, so I don't think it meant as much to her as it did to me. So that creates the dilemma, being so far away should I just say forget her and concentrate myself on the hot, yet hard to come by, air force girls.. or completely revamp my thinking and go after the german females.


Mike Man got an answer for you,

Dude, you're in Germany with the Air Force. Girls love that crap. This girl is probably pining away for you while you're overseas. However, she's not waiting for you. So bang all the German girls you can and then when you get back tell her that they meant nothing, and you missed her the whole time. Or you can get off your wussy ass and call this girl and actually tell her how you feel. Your choice.

Dear Joe College,
I am having a little trouble on the lady front. My problem is this: The two girls I am currently having sex with are all well and good, but they are both very against me going back door on them. I must admit, I am more than a little curious about this whole anal phenomenon, especially after several friends have been praising it extensively. How do I convince them to let me dabble in the forbidden zone, hopefully without running the risk of killing of the friends with benefits status?

Locked out of the back door

Dear Filthy Liar,

"Dear Joe. I have a problem about being too cool. Can you help me? Because I hate being this cool. Man, am I cool."

First off, you are either not having sex with two separate girls, or you are and they're both ugly and that doesn't count. If you were cool enough to have sex with two hot girls, you wouldn't need me. But I will answer your question as if you're not making this up just in case some kid is reading this and, when he grows up, he wants to be as cool as you think you are.

If you want to sexually experiment with someone, you can't just come out and ask because some people are completely closed off to that type of thing. Though it sounds like these girls are easy, so I wouldn't give up just yet. I suggest betting about something you know you're wrong on, and have the stakes be that the winner can do whatever they want sexually.

"Frank Stallone TOTALLY played Rambo in the sequel! Wanna bet?"

You'll need to be willing to do whatever she wants, but the next time you know you're right, it'll be that much easier to make that bet again, and this time you'll win. Though when you're having anal sex with two girls you invented for the purposes of this email, really, everybody wins.

If you are actually banging both these girls, I apologize, and instead offer you this advice. "Are you nuts? You've got two girls willing to have sex with you. Don't screw this up!"

Thanks for writing. This was Joe College saying, "Never look two gift cows in the butt." Got a question about an aspect of college life? Want to be made fun of? Then this is the place for you! Send all your college-related questions to joecollege AT observationalhumor DOT com.

Two quick sites I wanna mention, then hotlinks. First, our friend Kyle runs a site called GigWorthy, which you should go to if you're in a local band. Also, T-ShirtsThatSuck have some new hot shirts that totally don't suck, so check those out here. Have a bitchin' weekened, dudes.