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My then girlfriend left a condom in her purse because she didn't trust me to keep it out of my parents sight. Unfortunately, her mother started frequently searching her purse without her knowing and, as a result, I get forever labeled as the scum bag who took their daughter's innocence.She was my first… I was like her 3rd or 4th.

My girlfriend and i like to watch dog the bounty hunter a lot, and over time she started calling me big daddy like in the show. One time during sex she said it, and I replied big momma….big mistake. She thought i implied she was fat, and was promptly put in the doghouse for roughly a week.

My girlfriend thinks it's weird I call my penis "Pinky and the Brain"… women.

My girlfriend and I were having quite an involved hookup session. This included a fair amount of fingering, which went on for a while. Eventually I stopped, wanting to concentrate more on the kissing, and brought my hand up from where it had been. A few minutes later she asked "Is your lip bleeding?" I said no. She let out a quick expletive and ran into the bathroom.

Turned out she had just gotten her period. And the blood had gotten into our mouths.

I used to think lol ment lots of love, so once i sent to my boyfriend "aww, sorry your dog died LOL"

The first time my boyfriend ever found one of my tampons was about two month into our relationship. After digging through my bag for food that was not there, he pulled out the brightly colored tampon and asked what it was. After opening it, and making a disgusted face, he handed it to me and asked "how do you activate it?"

The first day I met my ex, he told me that he had given himself a Prince Albert, and he still had it in. I never told him, but every time we cuddled all I thought about was his dismembered member and what exactly I was supposed to do with it.

My gf is a total nerd, and loves old school arcade games. Sometimes when she's giving me an hj she'll get distracted and start making shooting noises exclaiming, "it's like a joy stick!" Sometimes she worries me, but then I remember she loves to play with my 'joy stick'.

About a month into my freshman year of college, I started dating this girl (now my ex). We were walking down frat row and we saw some students wearing some ridiculous clothes. I turn to my ex and say, "Look at them; they must be rushin'." She gives me a puzzled look, and after a moment she replies, "How can you tell they're Russian? I thought they were speaking English." I was speechless…

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