Ugh, I'm sooooo behind at work. Why? Two little words: Guitar Hero. Holy sh*t, that game has Me hooked! I still play on easy mode but I've been slaying – Slaying - 'Message in a Bottle.' So seeing as how I'm so behind with prayers, new diseases, floods and fires I figured I'd let you guys help Me out. I mean, I've done a lot for your species over the years – thinking, the ability to choose, orgasms, etc – so maybe you could give Me a hand now?

Ok, so I keep going back and forth between these two new catastrophes. At first I wanted to create some sort of ground ice that would, like, "erupt" and flash freeze huge chunks of land. But then I was like, "Maybe I'll just make a new classification of tidal wave and call it a Tyranowave…" Now I can't make up My mind. How would you rather have your city destroyed?

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I want to give a famous person irritable bowel syndrome, I just can't decide on who. Pick one.

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Next, Gabriel came to a meeting of the Ethereal Counsel the other day and he smelled like fart. I totes called him out on it but then Axxiom was like "I think it's just this cloud that smells bad." Funny, I don't remember making Axxiom the patron saint of kissing Gabriel's ass… Anyway, does Gabriel smell like fart or is it just me?

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Finally, if you wanted me to eradicate one of these diseases, which would it be? Note: This is NOT a guarantee that I will get rid of it.

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Thanks for your help guys. Now, on to the mailbag!

Bermey wants to know: Do you prefer flip flops or slip ons?
Good question, Bermey! In truth, I prefer neither. You see, my feet are made from the prayers of the innocent and I prefer to allow them to breathe. When I do put on shoes, they're normally clogs. I know, I know, gay, right? But seriously, soooooo comfy! Thanks for writing in, Bermey, Me be with you!

Dave wants to know: Can we expect a video blog anytime soon?
Wow, Dave, that's tricky. The short answer is no, unfortunately. Let's see if I can explain this. The technology you use to capture video cannot record Me. I'm made of pure energy, love, knowledge and carbon. If you tried to film Me your camera would vaporize along with any other organic material that gazed upon Me. Seriously, I wish I could reveal myself to you without your organs liquifying, but it is what it is. Me be with you, Dave.

Oxnard wants to know: Do you like country music?
Hmmm, that's a tough one. I think of country music the same way I think about Lime Tostidos: Once in a while I'm really feeling it, but most of the time I'd rather have something else. Ya know? Anyway, thanks for writing in, Oxnard, Me be with you!

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